Are you an attentive parent?

IN our world today, it’s becoming more difficult to be an attentive parent as a result of the various demands on our time from work, home, social media etc.

Every child needs attention, and they seek it in different ways(either good or bad).

They expect attention from their parents even if they don’t ask for it.

So it happens, that parents hear what their children are saying, but sadly, only a few parents hear what their children are not saying.

To become an attentive parent, you need to go beyond the surface, you need to be able to interpret their silence.

You need to listen for their body language, their fears, their opinion of the things happening around them, their emotions, their pains, their wins.

Children go through a lot of emotional roller coaster daily.

They experience joy, sadness, frustration, and sometimes anger as they go through the day, and one of the ways we can stabilize them is to study them intricately like a project, so we can interpret their silence.

When children are not given attention, they are very likely to become emotionally withdrawn, anxious, stressed, more exposed to abuse(sexual and substance), people pleasers and overly dependent on people, and are more likely to become delinquent.

We need to start putting down our phones, turning off the TV, the laptop, so we can have more time to bond with our children through play, meaningful engaging conversations, family dinner, family meeting sessions etc.

Here are 3 ways to become a more attentive parent;

1. Know your child. This is the first step to becoming attentive. If you are going to discern your child’s body language, then you need to know your child. Master and understand their true nature and validate them.
2. Don’t judge your child’s emotions. Understand that every behavior is communication. There is always an underlying cause for every behavior or emotion. That child might just be rebellious because he’s afraid, as a result of the violence that happens in his home, and the only way to express himself would be to rebel. So when your child is acting in a particular way, good or bad, don’t judge the child, rather, dig deep to unravel the root cause of the behavior. When you judge your child’s emotions, they will run away from you to find a safe place where they can express themselves, and that “safe place” might end up being a negative influence for that child.
3. Express physical affection for your children. Touch your child at least 12 times daily. Give them hugs intermittently, touch them, give them a pat on their back, get their eye contact, smile at them and tell them you love them. Ask them if they are okay, or feel upset. Ask them if they are feeling okay, etc. When you do all of these, they feel worthy, important, they feel good to know that you’re interested in them.

As a parent, to build an effective parent-child relationship, we need to become less distracted and more active in the lives of our children.

Remember, that you don’t need to be the perfect parent, but you can be very intentional about how you raise your children.

For more information on how to raise a wholesome, well balanced child or for further questions about being an attentive parent, please send an email to [email protected] or a chat to 08154299992(WhatsApp).
You can also connect with me on Instagram (@winninginparenting) for daily value packed teachings on positive parenting.
 
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Sandra Oluwadare
Parenting Coach/Child Behavior Expert