Should I propose to my boyfriend now (2)

BACK to the topic we started last week: Should I propose to him now?

Well, just before you make that move that could make or mar your relationship, be reassured by the fact that many men need and actually like this “nudge”, especially to change long-term dating or cohabiting into a marriage.

Consider if you’re enlightened enough to handle this. Gone will be your guy getting down on bended knee. Gone will be his attempts to compare the 4C’s when saving up for the engagement ring. And gone will be a romantic gesture at which you get to flutter and feel fussed over. Are you OK with this? Because if you’re not, stop right now! Don’t bother proposing. Don’t be too desperate to.

 Also consider if you will be happy when other people keep asking things like “So where did he propose to you?” and “How did he propose to you?” You will have a lot of setting people straight on this, so be forewarned that a good sense of humour is much needed!

If you’re the kind of woman who lives life large and isn’t worried about conventions and knows what she wants, this step will be a breeze to jump over. When you know what the right thing to do is, you know it, so get to it!

Think about what you’re going to say. There is no standard proposal and no right or wrong way but it is important to express how much you love him and to identify specific things about him that cause you to want to spend the rest of your life with him. Talk about the future and how much it means to you to have him by your side in this future; paint the vision for him as you propose.

Brief is good. He will probably be very surprised and the more you drag it out, the harder it gets for both of you!

You are going to be nervous and there is always a risk of a negative or non-committal response. Be prepared for that and also have a gracious response in reply in that event. If you’ve read all the signs right though, he is likely to say yes.

Let your heart guide you. While it’s a good idea to rehearse your proposal words beforehand, it’s also good to keep some of it spontaneous.

Admit to your nervousness. This vulnerability is endearing and helps your boyfriend to understand just how much courage this is requiring from you.

Good luck to you but don’t end up shooting yourself in the foot.