NO parent intentionally wants to raise a child who will need a babysitter from childhood to adulthood.
How would you feel if you had to be their personal assistant for life, where you have to think for them, solve problems for them, run errands and even make every decision for them?
It’s a stressful position to be in as a parent.
So the need to raise resilient children is one that cannot be overemphasised.
Resilience is one of the principal skills every child needs.
Without resilience, it will be difficult for them to thrive. They will shut down in the face of adversity, and may even give up on themselves.
Resilience does not jump on children, rather, it’s a skill that needs to be learnt, and it’s our duty as parents to teach and empower them with this skill.
Here are 7 things you should do if you want to raise a resilient child.
- Teach your child how to deal with failure and disappointment. Make them understand that failure is not final, and that there are lessons to learn even when they make mistakes. When children don’t know how to pull through failure, they give up after the first try, and quitters don’t win. So we need to encourage them to motivate themselves and get up to forge ahead even when there are obstacles and impediments in their way.
- Teach them to be emotionally intelligent. Resilience has a lot to do with the emotions. Let them learn to label and manage their emotions. Teach them safe ways to express themselves. Teach them ways to affirm and talk themselves out of a difficult situations.
- Resist the urge to jump in to fix their problems. I know that feeling where you want to save your child from the slightest form of discomfort, but we must understand that when we always do for our children things they can do or figure out themselves, we are not empowering them in any way. Have brainstorming sessions with the child and let them activate their problem solving skills.
- Strengthen your bond with your child. When children know they have a safe place in you, they are more likely to attempt difficult tasks, and pull through even if they fail. Build your connection with your child. Create time to hang out, have conversations, play and get to know yourselves as the days go by. This gives the child the much needed confidence to forge ahead.
- Let them engage in physical activities. Let them get some exercises. Get them outdoors walking, running, kicking, throwing, bicycling etc. Make it fun. Exercise strengthens the brain and makes it more resilient to stress and adversity.
- Teach them coping skills. Don’t assume children should know what to do in the face of adversity, rather, they need to be taught skills to help them navigate those phases. Teach them deep breathing exercises, they can go to their safe place or calm corner, they can count forwards or backwards, they can count the tiles, they can fix a puzzle, grab a drink of water, affirm themselves, etc. Just give them safe options of what they can do to calm themselves when they need to.
- Model resilience. Children are great copiers, and would do what they see you do, not necessarily what you tell them to do. As parents, we need to give them something great to copy. In your own times of difficulty, show them how you navigate those phases with a positive mindset instead of caving in. Let them see you pulling through tough situations instead of giving up.
Resilience is a skill every child being raised in today’s world must have!
For more information about raising wholesome, well balanced children or if you would like me to speak at your school, church, or other related events, please send an email to [email protected] or a whatsapp chat to 08154299992.
You can also connect with me on Instagram (@winninginparenting) www.Instagram.com/winninginparenting for premium value teachings on positive parenting.
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Thank you.
Sandra Oluwadare
Parenting Coach/Child Behavior Consultant
Founder, Winning in Parenting
