AS a boy I remember walking along Ajose Street, I was going to Lawanson market where my mother sold foodstuff, and I was with two of my brothers. Which was normal for we tended to do our things together
I come from a large family, with nine other surviving siblings. So, the house was always full, the fact that it was just a room, made it impossible not to be in each other’s faces and places. So we were used to being together and doing things together, it was the most natural thing to do.
So on this particular day, as I walked down the street with my siblings with that sense of safety, we got into an argument, to this day I can’t remember what it was all about, but I must have said something that offended them and I had a way of saying those words that cut deep.
Whatever it was I said was so annoying that my brothers crossed to the other side of the street and said they weren’t walking with me anymore.
The feeling of aloneness that hit me, to this day even with many years gone still chills me. I was used to the covering of brotherhood, I was born into it, I grew up with it and looking out always for it.
I felt abandoned. The tears welled up in my eyes, but I quickly fought them. Because in the world I grew up in, you are not allowed to show weakness. I straightened my shoulder and acted like it didn’t matter, though I wept within, my face put up a bold look
I fought the tears until I got to my mother’s space in the market where I couldn’t hold it anymore and even then I refused to tell her why salt water was streaming down my eyes. I refused to accept the fact that I was abandoned
As much as we strive to walk with others the seasons will come when as much as we fight it, we will have to walk alone, even if it’s just for a season.
Yes, I know that God’s son is with me always, but even He was abandoned when His close friends of three years slept on him and ran away for fear of their lives when it was His season to walk alone.
We will walk alone, it hurts I know. Our master cried in pain, “My God, my God .why have you forsaken me”.Those words came out of His lips, so don’t give up, you are in good company when you walk alone.
*Chiadika is an actor, filmmaker in Lagos
